Its easy to get caught up in your own lives, your own friends and forget about those that matter most to you. Sometimes those that matter most to you are secretly falling apart inside and don't know how to reach out and ask for help or attention. We see this in all walks of life. From suicide threats down to the girl/guy that post anything and everything on social media. Sometimes it is as simple as them pulling back from their normal behavior is a red flag. If you have that friend that used to post everything they ate, said, did, and then all of a sudden they are posting next to nothing if at all, it is probably time to reach out. Not only in social media, but through text, phone calls, smiles, anything. I have seen it time and time again with friends and family. The sad thing is, 9 times out of 10, something is going on, and someone NEEDS to reach out.
I am usually a happy girl that makes friends easily. I love hanging out and making friends into family. I love to show off my cute kids (who doesn't) and share my life on Facebook/Instagram/Snapchat. I move, and I move a lot, so I think I am so into it, as a way to say "Hey everyone I have met, know, left, I am here and this is our life and please don't EVER forget us."
I have noticed I am not smiling as much as I used to. I have noticed I am not putting myself out there as much. I noticed relationships slipping through my fingers and I feel helpless because I feel they are too far gone for help. I have been reached out to by so many people. SO many people have called and asked about my life. They have offered to let me let out all my frustrations. They have let me vent and cry. They have checked up on me and I am SO VERY THANKFUL. I am slowly but surely pulling myself out of this deep dark pit that I have got myself into.
With all that, I have realized that some people don't know how to help, how to ask, how to deal with someone who is pulling back and having bizarre behavior.
1- CALL THEM. Don't ask their family members how they are doing, don't ask a friend, pick up the phone and CALL THEM. They will tell you what they want you to know about them and their feelings. Don't call to talk about other people. Don't call to update them about EVERYBODY else YOU have been keeping up with besides them. Ask about their lives, their childrens lives, the important things and the non important things. Ask how their kids extra curricular activities are. ASK
2-TEXT THEM If calling is too scary (which I totally underdstand) simply send a text. a heartfelt message or just a simple, hey I was thinking about you. This will move mountains in their life.
3- Send a Letter- Who else loves a simple card in the mail. Anything besides bills and junk mail.
4- Pay attention- It simply is as easy as that. Take note of their likes and dislikes. Their favorite music, food, treat, or how weirdly they love something quirky. Take note!
5- MAKE PLANS- Make a big plan or a simple plan with them. It can be so simple. Things like, Hey can I call you tomorrow, are you busy? Can we go get lunch? Can we come visit?
6- Appreciation- Day in and day out, moms do not feel appreciated. Like all the work they are doing means nothing to anybody. They are tired, fed up, need a shower, and everybodys problems come before their own. Call and tell them they are doing a dang good job. Tell them the things they don't notice for themselves. Tell them something they are doing right. Tell them how hard they are working.
7- Send them something funny because laughter is hilarious and I truly believe it cures so many heartaches. When you come across something that makes you laugh, share it, because you never know who else needs that laugh.
8- ASK- Ask how their big event went. Ask how their child's birthday went. Ask how they new recipe turned out that they wanted to try. Ask how their talk went. Ask if they are feeling better after a sickness. Just ask.....
Not one single thing in this list costs money. Not one single thing takes too much time or effort if at all. You know what it will do though, SHOW SOMEONE YOU CARE AND LOVE THEM. I believe that is all we all really need. We are human and we need attention. Please reach out to an old friend. Please reach out to a family member. Please just reach out, because you really could save someone from having a terrible hour, day, week, month, year. Don't deny that it doesn't make you feel loved and needed when someone reaches out.
As Ellen says, Be kind to one another. That is what life is all about.
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